I Wanna Feel Your Arms Around Me
by the.words.of.a.heart
Summary: After Tommy's plane crashes, he opts to drive the rest of the way home. A highway pile up causes Tommy's body to disappear. 18 months later, Jude is trying to find her way without him. Bigger Sum. inside. Not enough room here. Jommy, I promise. Just Read
1. Starting Over

I Wanna Feel Your Arms Around Me

Plot:Okay, so Tommy took off on tour 18 months ago, and his plane ride home crashed. He survived the crash, and decided to drive the rest of the way. But on the drive home, he was involved in a highway car pile-up. The pile-up caused a fire blaze, and his body was never found. Now, a year and a half later, Jude, who was engaged to marry Tommy after he returned from tour, is finally dating again. She begins talking to two men that Sadie has chosen for her on a dating site. What happens from there, nobody knows.

A/N: I switch up the font a lot.

Regular: Jude talking or just dialogue.

_Italics:Jude thinking or Jude IMing _

**Bold:Jude Emailing**

Chapter 1

Starting Over

"Come on Jude…You've gotta start dating again eventually. I mean, Tommy's not coming back."

Jude looked up at Sadie.

"I'm sorry. I hate to be so blunt about it, but-"

"It's not your fault, Sadie…But I cannot goon LoversConnect. I'm too popular…"

"That's why I signed you up with my name…All of your information, but with the name Sadie Elizabeth Harrison."

"Well…I still don't know…."

"Come on, Jude…I already checked your site, and 5 guys replied to it…I replied to two of them. You're free to talk to them." Sadie smiled.

"Well, no one makes it through without Sadie's approuval," Jude joked.

"That's right. Now get on there." Jude rolled her eyes and walked over to the computer.

"But," She turned back to Sadie, who rolled her eyes. "I'm just asking a question."

"Okay, shoot."

"What if they try to call me fake?"

"Ignore them. I always do. Plenty of people have attempted to say I'm not Sadie Harrison, Jude Harrison's sister. But I, have proof."

"And what about my pictures?"

"I put up personal family pictures, not media shots."

"But Sadie, that's why I don't have a MyLounge."

"These pictures can't be stolen. They're protected by the site. Anyone who tries to steal them is in violation of the Terms and Agreements that they agreed to when they signed up."

"You actually read that whole thing?"

"No." Sadie laughed as she opened the bottle of water in her hands. She sipped it. "Only the important stuff." She looked down one last time to make sure her shoes were tied tightly enough and then pulled on a sweater. "I'm going out for a run. I'll be back in like…4 hours."

"Running to Chris'?"

"Maybe…" Sadie joked. "Anyway, if I'm not home by then, I'll see you tomorrow at G Major?"

"One, the name is Rapid Music now, and two, no. I have to go to Los Angeles for a promotional thinger because they're changing the entire chain's name to Rapid Music."

"Wow….You really want to rip apart everything Darius did to G Major…"

"He nearly killed it, Sadie. Fortunately, with you, Georgia, and EJ, we might just be able to save it…Anyway, keep an eye on Mason and SME while I'm gone. EJ will be there to help you, but Georgia is going with me."

"Okay, okay. No need for a lecture. I've done this before, you know?"

"Yeah, and that resulted in SME and Jamie locking you in one of the intern offices and then Pegan setting you free….Be careful." Sadie rolled her eyes.

"Whatever….Jeyton!!!" A black and white husky ran into the room. "I'm taking Jeyton with me."

"Oh…and leaving John here with me?" Jude exclaimed, referring to the other black and white husky that they owned.

"Yup. He's your dog. Jeyton is mine. So….yeah. Have fun." Sadie said with a smile. Jude rolled her eyes and turned back to the computer. Sadie ran up the stairs and then back down. Jude's shoulder slumped as she scrolled down the page on the computer. Sadie walked over by Jude.

"It'll all be okay, Jude…." She gave her a small hug and then walked out. Jude looked back at the two guys Sadie had verified for her. One was a blonde 21 year old from LA. (What a coincidence.) The other was a brown haired 27 year old from Vancouver. She looked at both pictures of the guys, and then decided to look a little further into them. Clicking on the guy from LA's picture, she waited for his page to load.

As it did, the first thing she looked for was his name. Tyler. Tyler Christopher Jamieson. Jude smiled, deciding she liked the name. He was a 21 year old looking to sign a record contract. He was also looking for a girl. She looked at all of his pictures before deciding to e-mail him.

**Dear Tyler,**

**Hi. I'm Jude**.

_What an Idiot. As if he won't realize-…Wait, no. Sadie has it set so that I have her name…I'm such a biff._

**It's set to say that my name is Sadie because my sister is totally over-protective. (I might mention she verified that you were okay to talk to before she actually let me. Hope that doesn't creep you out.) Anyway, I see that you're both interested in a record contract and that you live in LA. I'm actually going to be there tomorrow to do some promotional stuff for my company. If you're interested, maybe we can meet up for coffee or something. Anyway, let me know, and I'll give you my cell number and we can talk it over.**

**Sincerely, **

**Jude.**

Jude continued to look at Tyler's page for a few more minutes before going back to her own. Feeling brave again, she clicked on the 27 year old's page. She searched his page like she had Noahs, until she found his name. Tom. Thomas Cristopher Abott. What a coincidence that Tom and Noah had the same middle name. Jude shook her head, returning herself to what Tom's page said. There wasn't much, which gave off the vibe to Jude that this guy kept to himself. She smiled and then clicked the send this person a message button.

**Dear Tom,**

**Hi, I'm Jude. You may be asking yourself why it says my name is Sadie. That's because I have an over protective sister who won't let me talk to any of the guys on here unless she verifies that they're okayto talk to first. Kind of quirky, I know, but I love her. **

Jude chuckled at her own comment.

**Anyway, I live in Toronto, and would love to talk to you sometime. Reply and maybe I'll be nice enough to give you my cell phone number.**

**Sincerely, **

**Jude.**

She sent the message and then returned to her page, where there was already a reply from Noah. She clicked on the New Message button and opened it.

**Dear Jude,**

**Hi. I'm Noah. I understand your sister's over protectiveness. I'd love to meet you too. If you'd like, this is my number. 224-747-2585 (a/n:Yes, I just pushed a bunch of random numbers.). You can give me a call and we'll talk about meeting up tomorrow. Can't wait to meet you.**

**---Tyler**

Jude sat back and smiled. She had expected for the guy to be nice, but not this nice. She looked over at the phone, contemplating calling him. Her message window popped up, showing that she had a new IM from Kat.

_CrazyKat:Hey, there girly…How's your day going?"_

_XCantDanceX: Comtemplating calling a guy from LoversConnect. Should I?_

_CrazyKat: Go ahead! That's how Jamie and I re-connected…He could be your future husband!_

Jude bit her lip. This could be quite the leap. She hadn't noticed that her microphone or webcam were on, and almost jumped when she heard Kat's voice.

"Jude, just do it! It'll be worth it!" She smiled at Jude on the screen. Jude rolled her eyes and then grabbed the phone. As of on cue, The door opened. Jude turned around, un able to see who had just walked in the door.

"Hello?"

"Jude, it's Sadie…" Sadie called as she walked through the sitting room and sat down on the chesterfield.

"Where's Chris?"

"Coming. We're just going to grab few things and then be on our way."

"Okay…"

"Did you talk to either of the guys?"

"Um, yeah….I e-mailed them both. The one from LA replied back…The one from Vancouver isn't on." Sadie nodded as Chris walked in. Jude walked away from the computer, into the sitting room. She pulled a bag from the storage closet and handed it to Sadie.

"Here."

"What's this?"

"When you were at work today, I took the liberty of packing your things so that you wouldn't have to… I knew you'd go and then come back." Jude smiled.

"Well thank you." Sadie returned her smile and then grabbed Chris's hand and walked to the door.

"Don't stay up to late…We don't need you missing that flight."

"Yeah, yeah…" Jude said, tossing her hand up as if waving off Sadie's comment. She returned to the computer and picked up the phone. She tentatively dialed Tyler's number, and then bit her lip as the dial tone started. Kat had signed off, so she closed the messanger box and then shut off her web cam and microphone. The dial tone stopped, noting that someone had picked up the phone.

"Tyler…" The voice spoke, noting who they were.

"Hi, Tyler?"

"Yup. Is this Jude?"

"Yeah." She spoke tentatively.

"Hi…"

The two sat in silence for a moment, unsure of what to say to each other.

"So…Uh…How's the weather in Canada?" He asked with a bit of laughter in his voice.

"How's the weather?" Jude couldn't help but giggle.

"I didn't know what to say. "He admitted. Jude smiled, deciding she liked him already.

"That's okay. I didn't either." Jude heard another pop up, and looked up at her screen, seeing and invatation to chat. She clicked approuve, and waited for the IM to come up.

_MusicEqualsLife27: Hi. Is this Jude?_

_XCantDanceX:Yeah…is this Tom?_

"Is that typing chewing I hear?"

"No," Jude giggled. "I'm typing a reply to an IM I received."

"Oh." Tyler laughed on the other end.

"So…What branch of the music business are you looking to get into?"

_MusicEqualsLife27: Yeah. I like your page. You seem like a nice person. J_

_XCan'tDanceX:Thanks. You do too._

"Um…I don't know. I just love music and every aspect about it. I write my own songs, I've worked a little in production, and I can play piano and guitar…"

"Wow….same here…Well, that, and, with the help of a friend, I just took over my label."

"Wow….You're quite the accomplished person."

"Thank you." Jude smiled.

_MusicEqualsLife27: So, since you're THE Jude Harrison, what's life like?_

_XCan'tDanceX: Um….busy? I'm going to L.A. tomorrow to promote my record label._

_MusicEqualsLIfe27: Wow….Sounds like lots of fun._

_XCan'tDanceX: It is…After that, I'll actually be making a stop in your town…_

"What kind of music do you write?"

"Would you like to hear some of it?" Tyler spoke softly.

"Um, sure. I trust that you won't make my ears bleed."

Tyler laughed. "I promise not to." He grabbed his guitar and began to strum. Soft, but just loud enough that Jude could hear it.

"_Watch my life,  
Pass me by,  
In the rear view mirror  
Pictures frozen in time  
Are becoming clearer  
I don't wanna waste another day  
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes_

Yeah...

Cause I want you,  
And I feel you,  
Crawling underneath my skin  
Like a hunger,  
Like a burning,  
To find a place I've never been  
Now I'm broken,  
And I'm faded,  
I'm half the man I thought I would be:  
But you can have what's left of me

I've been dying inside,  
Little by little,  
No where to go,  
But going out of my mind  
In endless circles,  
Running from my self until,  
You gave me a reason for standing still

It's falling faster,  
Barely breathing,  
Give me something,  
To believe in  
Tell me: It's not all in my head

Take what's left  
Of this man  
Make me whole  
Once again…

I've been dying inside you see  
I'm going out of my mind  
Out of my mind  
I'm just running in circles all the time  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left of me?  
Just running in circles in my mind  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left of me?"

Jude sighed in content as he finished.

"Wow…That was amazing."

"Thanks…I've been working on that for about 4 months…It's been a project that I've moved around on…."

"I know how that is."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Jude got up from the computer, forgetting that she was talking to another person. She grabbed her lap top and walked outside to the sun porch. The sun was starting to set, and there was a light mist in the air, hinting that rain was in the distance. She looked to the west, where the sky was beautifully separated into beautiful soft blues, pinks, oranges and purples. She smiled and reached for her guitar, which she'd left out there the night before. She reached for it and began to strum a few chords.

"Can I hear something?"

Jude smiled. "Sure….This is Where Does It Hurt." She strummed a few chords.

"_When you open your heart_

_There's always so much to lose_

_So far to fall_

_And nowhere to go when it's through_

_But if you let me in_

_I won't let you down_

_Put your faith in me_

_Cause where ever you crash_

_Where ever you land_

_That's where I'll be_

_And for every endless midnight _

_There's a sky full of broken stars_

_But there'll always be a place for you_

_Inside my arms_

_And there's a million streets to walk down_

_In this city of broken hearts_

_But there'll always be a place for you _

_Inside my arms_

_Where does it hurt?"**  
**_

She could feel Tyler smiling on the other end of the phone.

"That was amazing, Jude…"

"Really? You think so?"

"I know so…"

"Thanks…I…well, I'm sure you know about my past with Tom Quincy…"

"Yeah…who doesn't?" Jude chuckled.

"Well, I started that right after he died, and I just…I never finished it…" She admitted softly.

"Well, that's okay…You have all the time in the world to greive your loss…But don't let it hold you back from falling in love again…."

Jude smiled. "Thank you."

"For what?" Tyler was confused.

"For saying that….I needed to hear it, because it's true…" She looked at the clock on her computer. "Wow. I really need to start packing. Do you mind if I put you on speaker?"

"Not at all."

Jude smiled and grabbed her computer and guitar, walking inside. She made her way up the stairs to her bedroom and threw the door open. Everything was in it's proper order, and she moved swiftly across the floor to her bed, setting her guitar and laptop down. She set the phone on the cradle and turned it to speaker.

"So…What's Los Angeles like?"

"You mean you've never been here?"

"Actually, no." Jude walked to her closet, removing her luggage. She placed the bag on her bed and unzipped it. As always, it was clean and everything was perfectly straight. Any seams that may have been torn from the last trip had already been repaired. She smiled and walked to her dresser.

"Well, there's a LOT of places to go shopping. Besides the regular mall, we have a 2 mile long strip on 15th street where you can shop, eat, ecsetera. Besides that, there's also a LOT of restaurants. Most of them have out door service because of how hot it gets during the summer…Besides that,…Um…I don't know. We have some great clubs. There's one called Room, and that one was just opened by a friend of mine. Oh, and MACH. That's spelt M-A-C-H. It has to do with something that my friend wanted. Her and her boyfriends initials. Um…Besides that, there's Juicer, which most people think is just a hangout for teenagers, but it's actually a club at night."

Jude smiled. "I think I'm going to enjoy this trip."

"I would hope so." She couldn't help but smile. She heard a rustle on the other line and then speaking. "Shoot."

"Huh?" Jude turned away from her suitcase to the phone.

"I have to get to work. I didn't realize it was so late. But, ah, call me. When you get in. We'll plan something."

"Sounds like fun." Jude smiled. "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Jude."

"Bye." She giggled softly as she said goodbye and then hung up the phone. She walked over to he laptop, where LoversConnect had loaded up as her main page. She shook her head. _Sadie…. _She noticed that she had a new message from Tom and clicked on it. The message loaded.

**Hey, Jude,**

**Wow…I didn't know if I should start this off like that. I'm sure it probably aggravates you when people do that…Anyway, I noticed that you disappeared, so I'm sure you just got busy. Anyway, if you'd like to talk sometime, give me a call. The number is 224-593-7952. (Yes. Just another batch of random numbers.)**

**---Tom**

Jude smiled. This guy was similar to…Well, to Tommy in a lot of ways. She walked over to the phone and dialed his number. The dial tone started, as she walked over to her dresser, pulling out undergarments.

"Hello?"

"Hi…Is this Tom?"

"Yeah. I'm guessing this is Jude?" Jude's breath caught in her throat. He sounded so much like-…

"Ye-yeah…"

"You sound tentative..Am I interrupting something?"

"No..no…You just…You sound like someone I used to know…." She spoke softly as she turned back to her bag.

"Oh…Is that a bad thing?"

"No. Not at all…Just kinda freaked me out at first, is all.

"Oh…I'm sorry. I'm not here to scare…" Jude giggled.

"Well, thank you. I've been scared enough lately. I hate Halloween."

Tom laughed on the other end. "I'm pretty sure I have an ex who was the same way."

"Pretty sure?"

"Well…It's a long story… One I'd love to explain, but,….maybe when we've actually talked in person." Jude smiled.

"Smart man…"

"Huh?" There was a lot of confusion in his voice as he spoke.

"Not giving out too much information….My sister would like you a lot…"

"Oh…" 

"Oh, no…" Jude smacked herself lightly on the head. "I didn't mean like that…She's just very over protective…After my ex passed -…well, after my ex was out of our lives, she didn't really trust any guys. Some bad things happened after he was gone."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Not your fault, just-" The doorbell interrupted Jude's thoughts. She grabbed the phone off the reciever and shut off the speaker. She plugged in her headset and shoved the phone in her pocket. "Hold on a sec."

Jude ran down the steps to the door, throwing it open.

"Hey, Georgia…"

"Hey…You all packed?" Georgia asked.

"No, I was just starting…"

"Then it's a good thing I came…"

"Am I interrupting something." Tom cut in.

"Uh, no…Sorry. I'm packing to leave for Los Angeles tomorrow…I told you about that?" Jude inquired.

"Oh, right…Is that your sister?"

"No, that would be my business partner."

"Oh…" She was pretty sure Tom was nodding on the other end.

"Am I interrupting something important?" Jude turned to Georgia.

"Of course not…I'm just talking."

"Ah…Is this one of the guys Sadie put you up to?"

Jude rolled her eyes. "Evidentally the whole world knows my business."

"No, Jude Sadie, me and EJ…and whatever men you happen to give this information to…" Georgia smiled, following Jude up to her room. Jude took the headset off and put the phone back on the cradle, turning it back to speaker.

"Well, since everyone seems to be meeting everyone today, Tom, this is my business parter, Georgia."

"Hi, Georgia."

"Wow…You sound a lot like…." She paused, catching herself. She looked over at Jude who rolled her eyes and nodded. "A lot like an old friend…."

"Uh, thanks I guess…Jude said the same thing…Well, close to the same thing…"

Jude let out a small laugh.

"So…."

"Um…I'd love to meet you…Like I said, I'm going to LA tomorrow, and I'll be there for 3 days, but after that, we have to go to Vancouver for a few days…I'd love to meet you then…"

"Okay…"

"Okay?"

"Yeah…Just give me a call and we'll set something up."

"Okay,…Well, I have to finish packing, so, I'm gonna have to let you go."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye." Jude shut the phone off and sat down on her bed.

"So…How're you feeling?"

"Scared…"

"Why?" Georgia stood in front of her.

"Because. I've met these two amazing guys who seem really, really sweet, and…I don't know…I feel like I'm trapped the Bermuda triangle of Jadommy again…It was bad enough the first 3 times around…"

"But this doesn't involve Tommy. OR Jamie…"

"But…What if I get to liking both of these guys?"

"From the way it sounds, you already do, hun…"

Jude sighed, throwing herself back on her bed.

"I have a life! I have a company to build back up! And on top of that we have to add boy drama!? Gosh, Georgia…Does it never end?"

"I guess not, hun…" She couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Well…If not, the fine…"

"Lets get the rest of this packed and then get to the airport." Georgia offered.

"Okay…Um…" Jude looked around.

"You aren't prepared at all, are you?"

Jude looed at Georgia, who rolled her eyes. She walked to Jude's closet and then returned with a laptop bag and a carry on.

"Okay, god knows that you're going to want your lap top with you on the plane. What next?"

"Something to eat?"

"I've got food covered."

"Okay….Then…"

"Maybe try a 2 sets of clothing. One casual and one business."

Jude nodded. "Right. Clothes." She walked to her closet and then returned a moment later with a knee length yellow skirt and soft pink plaid dress t-shirt. "Good?"

"Great…now grab a pair of jeans, a comfortable t-shirt, long-sleeved undershirt, and a comfortable pair of jeans." Jude nodded and walked to her dresser. She pulled out a black under shirt, a short sleeved shirt with love across the chest, and a pair of ripped, faded blue jeans. She laid them into the carry on and then turned to Georgia again. "Bunny hug?"

"Right. A bunny hug." Jude walked to her closet and returned with an oversized black bunny hug with Who cares? She's MY girl. across the front and Plus I Love Her on the back. She also brought out a pale green bunny hug and set it on the bed. She folded both and then put them into the bag.

"What next?"

"A pair of pajamas?"

"Right, pajamas." Jude walked to her dresser and opened a drawer, pulling out a pink pair or pajama pants with kittens on them, and a black t shirt. "Good?"

"Yep." She smiled and walked back over to the bed and laid her clothes neatly into the carry on bag.

"Now, the last few things you should put in here are your journal, and the notebooks and paper work with everything we have documented about Rapid Music." Jude nodded and pointed to a pile on the bed of notebooks and papers. Georgia grabbed them and put them at the top of the bag. Jude zipped it and tossed it on the floor. Afterwards, grabbed her lap top, and shoved it into it's bag. Following that, she finished packing her bag.

When everything was put in its proper place, Jude carried her bags down the stairs to the sitting room. She walked over to the computer, which had been left on from earlier, and shut it off.

"So when does the flight leave?"

"In 6 hours…And it's 4 hour drive…"

"So we should leave like…now?"

"Yeah, probably…I'll take these out to the car… you make sure you didn't forget anything." Jude nodded and then wrote Sadie a quick note before grabbing several bottles of orange juice and turning everything off.

After landing in L.A., Jude and Georgia went straight to their hotel and dropped everything off.

"How long do we have?" Jude turned to Georgia as she flipped open he suitcase.

"Um..The first meeting is at 5. And its….Almost 11 right now. Get some lunch, do a little shopping if you must, and then take a nap. You'll want to be rested for this thing….."

"Okay." Jude nodded, writing a few things down in the notebook she had just pulled out.

"I'm going to put everything in my room and then I'm going to a meeting with the board of directors for the Rapid Music here in L.A. It's nothing you need to attend, because you won't understand what they're talking about. But meet me in here at 4:30, and then we'll go from there, okay?"

"Yes, mom." Jude said jokingly. Georgia rolled her eyes and then walked over to Jude. She enveloped her in a hug and then walked to the door.

"Everything's gonna be just fine, kiddo."

"Georgia, I'm not a kid-"

"Any more. I know. Old habits die hard…" She smiled and then opened the door, walking out. Jude opened her suitcase and pulled out a denim mini skirt and a tan blouse with a white tank top under it.

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She carried her clothes into the washroom and set them on the counter before retrieving a towel and gathering her shower gel and body wash from her bag. She walked back into the washroom and shut the door. After undressing, she got into the shower, letting the hot water run down her back. She was going to meet Tyler in an hour at a resturant that he had mentioned. They were going to have lunch and talk. She had to admit. Her nerves were all over the place. She hadn't dated anyone since Tommy's accident, and doing so was going to be….different…She didn't think there was anyone who could ever measure up to Tommy. Shaking her thoughts away as she finished washing up, she stepped out of the shower and grabbed her towel off the drying rack, wrapping it around herself. She stared at herself in the mirror for a moment. Though she knew it wasn't good for he own personal health, she had an issue with critiquing her own body whenever she was standing in front of the mirror.

_Come on Jude…you're prettier than this…You know you are._

She looked down at her flat stomach, and ran a hand over it. Her baby used to be there. THEIR baby…Hers and Tommy's. Tears filled her eyes.

_And if you hadn't been so absent-minded and stupid that night-…_

She stopped her thoughts, forcing herself to walk away from the mirror. It wasn't her fault…It wasn't her fault, and she knew that…But she always seemed to come back to the result that it WAS her fault.

She'd been 3 and a half months pregnant. She was driving home from G Major. She and Kwest had just finished her 4th album, and it was going to be shipped out to New York the next day. She'd been so ecstatic all day. Even though Tommy was gone, she was having their baby, and she couldn't be happier because of that. This baby was her reason for hanging on. Four block away from home, she made a wrong turn. She'd been too busy thinking about the baby and things to come. A drunk driver was swerving in and out of her lane. As she snapped back to reality, it happened too late. The drunk driver slammed into the drivers side door. Fortunately for the driver, he walked away fine…except for a lawsuit for manslaughter. Jude made it out with a broken wrist and lots of bruises. But the baby didn't….

Jude was mad. She could have survived if it had bee a limb she lost. She would have gladly given her left arm if it meant getting her baby back. She was supposed to go in the next day to have an ultrasound and find out the sex of the baby. When the doctor had told her about her miscarraige, he'd asked if she wanted to know. She didn't even really give an answer. She just cocked her head in a weird way, and the doctor must have assumed it was a yes, because he told her it had been a boy…and a girl. She and Tommy would have had fraternal twins.

After losing the twins she fell into a deep depression. She spent weeks in her room, not eating. Just sleeping, crying, and more sleeping. Eventually, she made herself so sick that she ended up in the hospital at a frail 87 pounds. When Sadie yelled at her and the two fought for three hours in Jude's hospital room, she finally reached her breaking point.

It all seemed uphill from there, but she still hadn't tried to date anyone since everything had happened.

Shaking the thoughts from her head. She walked over to the mirror and made sure she looked descent. She pulled her hair up into a pony tail and then grabbed her purse and slipped on a pair of black flip flops before walking out the door. She made her way out of the hotel and then hailed a cab.

"Where to?"

"7th Street, please. I front of Forever 21." Those were the only instructions she'd been given. 7th street and Forever 21. Tyler hadn't hinted as to what else was there, or where he would be. Just that as soon as he arrived, she would see why he had picked that place for them to meet.

"Not that I'm trying to make you sound stupid, but from here, that's a two block walk…." The cabdriver turned her head slightly, looking at Jude. Jude looked up at the street signs and blushed.

"Thanks." She smiled and got of the car, stepping back as someone else rushed to take the cab. She walked to the street corner and made her way down to 7th street.

As she reached the store, she looked around. The sun was beating down hard from where she was standing. She pulled out a pair of sunglasses from her purse and slipped them on.

"Jude?"

She turned, hearing a familiar voice. A smile spread across her lips. She slipped her sunglasses up onto head.

"Tyler?" She smiled, seeing the 21 year old approach her. He was DEFINITELY good looking.

"Hi…" He stuck his hand out. She smiled wider and shook it.

"Hi…."

Tyler:

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	2. It's Been A Slow Awakening

Chapter 2

It's Been A Slow Awakening

a/n: Here's chapter 2. It might be a little (of not more than) longer than chapter 1. I don't know. Chapter 1 was 5033 words, so we'll see. Now, to answer some reviews:

(In order of arrival):

_**Tanya50801:**__Oh wow you so have my attention and I so can't wait to read the next chapter to find out what is going to happen next. Keep up the great writing and please post more soon.  
Tanya_

_I'm glad you can't wait. Here's chapter 2 to tide you over for another few days :P_

_**McDreamylvr:**__Oh I hope you continue! I cant wait for her to 'meet' Tom._

_Now I never said that Tom was THE Tommy. Sure. I said that Tommy disappeared (Hence me not saying "DEAD"), but you'll just have to wait and see when and where he pops up. __J_

_**iluvtomQ18: **__I like it post, post, post!_

_Posting! ;)_

_**Sarah1124:**__Good Story so far. Tommy is the one in Vancouver, he just doesn't know his real name? And does this Tyler resemble a certain Tyler Kyte?  
Post more when you can._

_**Tommy? Is he the one in Vancouver. No. Maybe. Yes. No. Maybe. Yes. No. You'll just have to wait and find out :P. As far as Tyler, no. Tyler I actually named because I couldn't get the name off of my mind when I was typing the 13 page chapter. It actually was originally going to be Noah, but I couldn't get myself to commit to Jude and Noah. Tyler's picture as Hoechlin (Hecklin). If you don't know who he is, he's Martin from 7**__**th**__** Heaven. (Yes I'm an addict….It was my vice before I.S.) I've been coming back to this idea for….gosh, months. Just figuring where Tommy would be, what would happen, why and who Jude would be with, etcetera**_

_Anyway, onto the chapter! __J_

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_Also…wow, never thought I'd find myself saying this, but there's smut at the end of this chapter. Be nice! It's my first attempt at it (outside of RP.) Flames are welcomed, though. Infact, I encourage it. __J_

"_Hi…"_

"_Hi…" Jude smiled and shook Tyler's hand._

"_Wow, I guess what they say is true…You __are__ better looking in person." _

_Jude blushed, looking around. "Wow….It's pretty here."_

"_Well, It's California, so…" He smiled and gave her a once-over._

"_I like the outfit."_

"_Thanks…" Jude smiled, subconsciously running her hands over her stomach, fixing any ruffles there may have been. Tyler smiled._

"_So…I was thinking Chipotle?"_

"_Sure." He extended his arm and Jude linked it in hers. She followed him to a small building. When they entered, he turned to her._

"_So, what would you like?"_

"_Honestly? I have to admit that I have no idea what Chipotle is…" Jude couldn't help but giggle._

"_Oh." Tyler smiled. "It's kind of like subway…But it's burritos instead….really big burritos…"_

_Jude nodded. They ordered and then took their burritos outside and sat down. Jude bit into hers and smiled._

"_Yum…" He smiled and noticed her sweater._

"_Expecting to get cold?"_

"_No, not really…I brought it because after this, I have to go to a business-ey thing for my new record company."_

"_Oh, right!" Tyler nodded. "RapidMusic, right?"_

"_Yeah…My business partner and I are here, meeting with a couple of collegues from employees who run the G Major here in L.A….We just did a major take over, and everything's being changed…."_

"_Dropping artists?"_

"_Huh?" Jude looked up at him, confused._

"_Usually when record companies make a name change or have a take over, they drop a lot of artists."_

_Jude shook her head as she sipped her drink._

"_Mm-mm. Mm-mm." She swallowed her soda. "We're not like that. We're looking to gain a lot of artists and drop little to no artists at all. I promise." Jude smiled._

"_So what about you?"_

"_What about me?"_

"_Are you looking to get back into singing at all?" Jude sighed._

"_I don't know…" She sipped her soda again. "I mean…I love it, of course…That's why I moved so fast to take over G Major when it was going down the drain….But I don't know if I can ever do music again…With everything that's happened in the last 5 years…It just might be too much…definitely now…if not for the rest of my life…"_

"_Wow….You really were in love with that Quincy dude…" Tyler smiled solemnly._

"_Yeah…he was quite the amazing charmer, that one." Jude smiled, looking down at her watch. It was getting late._

"_Wow…I hate to cut the short, but I really have to get to my business meeting…but why don't you meet me and my business partner for dinner….we might even give you a chance at a contact." Jude said semi-seriously. _

_Tyler smiled._

"_Um…sure. 8 o'clock?"  
_

"_That should work." Jude smiled and stood, giving him a quick hug before running off…._

_Jude and Georgia walked up to Chipotle, seeing Tyler standing against the building. _

"_Hey…"_

"_Hello, Lovely." He smiled and took her hand, kissing her cheek. Jude blushed slightly and interlaced their fingers._

"_So…you're Tyler?"_

"_Mmhmm…And all I know is that you're her business partner." He stuck his hand out. Georgia smiled and shook it._

"_Georgia Bevans…"_

"_Ah. The original owner of G Major." Tyler nodded. Jude smiled, continuing to walk while holding Tyler's hand as they walked down the street. Her thoughts began to drift away from Georgia and Tyler's conversation. She thought about Tom, back in Vancouver. She hadn't talked to him since she'd left, the night before. He was a genuine, great guy, she was able to tell just by talking to him; But Tyler was… Amazing. In so many ways, and Jude absolutely sure there were more that she had yet to discover._

"_Jude?" She looked up from the ground to see both Georgia and Tyler looking at her worriedly. She realized that there were tears streaming down her face, and she suddenly felt cold. "You okay, kiddo?"_

"_I, um…" Jude tried to stop the tears building up behind her eyes, but they seemed to keep coming. She turned to Tyler. "I hate to do this…." She sniffed. "To you…But I need to go back to the hotel….I'm not feeling well…"_

"_Okay…" He looked at her with concern, but nodded. Jude sighed, and hugged him quickly. She turned around and was about to start walking, when Georgia grabbed her hand. _

"_Would you like me to come with you, Jude?"_

_Jude shook her head no. "I just need to be alone right now…And you two should get to know each other…After all, you're like my second mom…." Jude smiled softly. Georgia nodded and let go of Jude's hand. Jude walked off, back to the hotel. She made her way inside towards the elevators, when she bumped into someone, and was knocked to the ground._

"_I'm sorr-…Jude?" Jude looked up and stared at the male in front her confusedly for a moment. Then it clicked._

"_Tom!?" She wiped her tears away. He helped her up from the ground. "I…wh….wha….You…" She struggled to find her words._

"_Jude, wake up…"_

"_Tom, what?"_

"_Jude! Wake up." Jude bolted upward in a cold sweat in her hotel bed. She looked over and saw a worried Georgia and Tyler._

"_What's going on?"  
_

"_You came back here an fell asleep."  
_

"_But…no." She looked at Georgia. "I saw…I saw Tommy….And he was alive. He was in the lobby, and we…we talked, and…" Tears filled Jude's eyes again._

_Georgia looked at her sadly. After Tommy's accident, Jude had had many dreams such as this one where she would see Tommy somewhere, and he would still be alive. But after Jude would 'meet up' with him, just as they would begin to talk, Jude would awake to find out it was all a dream._

"_I'm sorry hun…It was just another dream…." Jude stared down at her lap in shame. Tears began to course down her cheeks quickly. She barely noticed as Georgia said something quietly to Tyler and then left. Tyler sat on the bed with her and hugged her. Jude couldn't believe it, but being in his arms made her calmer, and feel safe. She'd never felt this safe…Not even with Tommy. She sighed in content, laying back against the bed. Tyler held her close. She smiled, and relished the feeling of….She couldn't exactly put her finger on it._

_But she was slightly fearing that it could be…._

_Something she hadn't felt in…._

_Almost two years… _

_She looked up at Tyler, and he looked down at her. _

"_I know we've only just met…But I'm falling for you…"_

_Tyler couldn't help but let out a small laugh._

"_Can I tell you something?"_

_Jude nodded._

"_We've known each other for about 5 years."_

_Jude raised her eye brows at him. "How so?"_

"_Well, on your first tour, I went to one of your concerts…Back then I lived in Luxembourg….Anyway, I met you, and you said you-"_

"_That I wanted to blow off some steam, so I asked if you wanted to go to dinner…And then I gave you my e-mail address….I was wondering why yours seemed so familiar!!!" Jude let out a small laugh. She felt Tyler's arms tighten around her and smiled._

"_Yeah…I changed it a little it got hacked…But when everything happened with your ex….I didn't want to push you into talking to me….I guess we just…drifted apart after that."_

_Jude smiled, snuggling further into his arms. "Well, I feel more comfortable saying this, now that I know I didn't just meet you yesterday…I feel safe in your arms…More safe than I've ever felt…even more than when I was with Tommy…."_

_Tyler rolled her back slightly, looking her in the eyes. "Wow….Well,…I'm glad that I can make you feel so good."_

"_You've always been able to make me feel safe…cared about….loved…"_

_Tyler smiled. "I love you, Jude…"_

"_I…Love you too…" She looked at him and kissed him softly, placing a hand on the side of his face. He rolled her completely over, and shifted so that he was on top of her, in the up position of a push up, and kissed her deeply. Jude wrapped her arms around him, kissing him back softly. He slid a hand down to her shirt, sliding it up. She removed her arms from around his neck and reached down, lifting his shirt over his head. He pulled hers off at the same time and leaned back down, kissing her softly. She lifted her back off the mattress as he reached behind her back and then pulled away, looking her in the eye._

"_Don't stop..please…" Jude spoke, breathlessly. Tyler looked at her nervously._

"_Are you sure you want to keep going?" _

_Jude opened her eyes and looked at him. "Tyler Chritopher Jamieson….I want you to make love to me…Right here, and now…"_

_He looked down at her incredulously for a moment, and then leaned down slowly, placing a chaste kiss upon her lips. He reached behind her again, and she arched her back. She felt the clasp of her bra break free, feeling it's support weaken. Tyler leaned up and slid the straps down off her shoulders , slowly revealing more and more of her breasts. She sighed in content as it was removed from her body. She reached down and unbuckled his jeans, pushing them down. _

_He reached for her skirt, pulling it down, along with her panties. Jude looked at him nervously for a moment. He got off the bed, as did Jude. He made quick work of removing he rest of his clothing. Jude pulled a blanket from one of her suitcases. He looked at her, confused._

"_NEVER use hotel blankets…." She smiled and he nodded, leading her back to the bed. She pulled free from his grasp, wrapping the blanket around her and walking back to her suitcase. "I didn't expect to use these, but…." She pulled out a condom from her bag and handed it to him. He smiled and lead her back to the bed. She sat down and laid the blanket out over herself, unwrapping it. Tyler climbed on from the end of the bed, kneeling between her legs. He looked her in the eye once again, and she nodded. He opened the small foil package and handed the condom to Jude. She reached down and placed it on him. He leaned down and kissed her, deepening and keeping it to just kissing for several minutes. After a little bit, Jude pushed him back and nodded for him to advance. He reached down gently lifting her left leg over his waist and slowly pushed into her. She arched her back, groaning in pleasure as he filled her, inch by inch. He let out a small smile, and with each thrust, picked up the pace. Jude kept her eyes closed, letting out soft moans and groans here and there until she reached her breaking point. They reached their climaxes in unison, and then Tyler collapsed next to her. She yawned and rolled over on her stomach so that she was facing away from him. She sighed and just laid there until she was sure he was asleep. After, she got out of the bed and walked to the washroom. She turned on the shower, and jumped in, reaching for her sponge and filling it with soap. She scrubbed every spot that Tyler had touched her, vigorously, trying to remove any trace of him from her. Sure, the fingerprints were gone, but HE was still there…She had to get it off. This was wrong. She was such a dirty girl, she told herself. She began to cry, letting go of the sponge. She dropped to the floor of the shower, letting everything go. She pulled her knees to her chest and sobbed softly. _

_She didn't know how long she laid there, but the water began to get cold. She started to shake violently. Her throat was constricting. She couldn't breathe…And in the next second, …._

_Everything went black……._


	3. Start From Deep Within

_Chapter 3_

_Start From Deep Within_

Jude awoke and looked around. The new ice cold water was still pounding down on her. Other than that, it was silent, so she assumed she'd only been out for a minute or so.

She stood and shut the shower off, wrapping a towel around her. She walked out and into the hotel room, seeing Tyler was awake.

"Hi..."

"Hey...you were in there a long time..."

"Was I?"

She looked him questioningly.

"Yeah...like an hour..." Jude looked at him, surprised.

She'd been out cold for more than half an hour.

"I, um...Georgia and I are flying to Vancouver tomorrow morning...And then I'm heading home..."

Tyler nodded.

"Well, I had a good time, today..." He smiled at her genuinely.

"I, ah...me too.."

"Maybe the next time you come-"

Jude turned around. "I don't think I'll be coming back...I just...this is too much right now."

He looked at her confused. "But you just said-"

"I know what I just said...And I know what I said earlier...But sex? Tyler...it's too much at once..." Tears filled her eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey." He climbed off the bed and walked over to her. "If you're uncomfortable, we can slow down. We can take this as slow as you want or need to. Okay?"

She nodded as he wiped her tears away.

"I don't ever want you to be uncomfortable with me." He hugged her.

The Next Day

Jude walked out of the terminal and yawned. She'd decided against going to Vancouver, and instead decided to go home. Both Tyler and Tom were going to meet her in Toronto in a few days, as they'd both decided to fly out when she opted to skip out on spending more time with either of them. She pulled out her cell phone and saw that she'd missed a call from Sadie. She dialed Sadie's number.

"Hey, what's going on?" Jude walked into baggage claim, grabbing her bag. She made her way towards an elevator.

"You're gonna want to get home...Like right now."

"Why? What happened?"

"Just get here. I can't tell you over the phone."

Jude heard the phone click and looked closed it as the elevator door opened. She made her way to the car and began the long drive home. As she drove, she played with the radio.

"Here's a new one from Caleigh Braxton. "Never Again", ladies and gentlemen..."

Jude sighed and shut off the radio, continuing to drive. As she did, lyrics began to stir in her head. She began humming a tune.

"Go figure...whoa..."

She smiled, and continued humming the tune. As she pulled up to the house, she had the whole song written inside her head. She stopped and wrote it down before going into the house.

As she walked in, she started the song over, singing it to herself.

"Whoa, whoa

Just when you learned the game of life

All the rules seen changed overnight

Whoa, whoa go figure..."

She dropped her bags at the door, her eyes closed as she bopped her head to the song.

"It seems so wrong to even try

But taking a chance never felt so right

Whoa, whoa go figure

You have a dream,

You wanna be,

The center of the story

Just when you think its going

You find a way to keep it going on..."

She walked away from the coat closet into the kitchen.

"Sometimes you fall before you fly

Sometimes you laugh when you should cry---

Go figure.

When things got messed up

You wanted to give up

Nothing seemed right but turned out fine

Go figure, go figure

Whoa, whoa

It's so dangerous to play it safe

You get what you want by giving it away

Whoa, whoa, (go figure)

Go figure..."

She heard someone descending the stairs, and figured it was Sadie. She continued singing the song, looking for something to eat.

"Your trying so hard to be someone else

When all you needed to be was yourself

Whoa, whoa go figure

Yeah, yeah, yeah.…

Not everything you've wanted seems

It's never just one meaning

When life starts making sense

The world is upside down again….

Sometimes you fall before you fly

Sometimes you laugh when you should cry---

Go figure,

Go figure…

When things got messed up

You wanted to give up

Nothing seemed right but turned out fine

Go figure, go figure

Whoa, whoa, go figure

Whoa, whoa..."

"Jude..."

"Just a sec."

She continued looking for something to eat in the fride, and continued singing to song.

"Did you really think your destiny was a one way street

You gotta be ready for anything

Just set your whole life free, yeah-"

She turned around and stopped singing.

"Tommy..."

She rubbed her eyes, fearing that it was another one of her dreams. But he continued to stand there. Dressed simply in a pair of ripped up jeans, a black shirt, and a leather jacket. Typical Tommy Quincy.

"You...Eight-teen months..." Tears filled her eyes. He took a step forward, and she took a step back.

"Jude, let me explain..."

She didn't move. He took another step towards her. Tears coursed down her cheeks. When he stopped in front of her, she could feel his warm breath on her skin.

"Please..." He took her hands and lifted her chin, waiting for an answer. She let go of one of his hands and walked to the sitting-room with him. They sat down on the chesterfield.

"Talk, Quincy..." She whispered. She was sure she heard a rustle upstairs, which meant Sadie probably had Chris by the stairs, listening to the conversation.

"After the car accident...I was in the hospital."

She looked at him confused.

"I didn't know what was going on...Some people saw me on the side of the road losing blood and took me to the hospital...I was in a coma for six months, Jude..." He sighed, gathering his words. He looked down, his eyes averting to a few places, before looking back up at her.

"When I woke up, they said that someone had shown up and wanted to shut off the machines, but because I didn't have a Power Of Attorney, or a DNR, they couldn't."

Jude watched as a tear escaped his left eyes and quickly spilled down his cheek. She reached up, wiping it away.

"When I got out, I didn't know who I was, where I was from...anything." He stopped, taking a deep breath.

"Someone said that my car had been destroyed in the wreckage, but someone had found my luggage, and that there was a little bit of information in it...I looked at it and there was information that had said I had a place in Montreal...So I went there for about 8 months, and then I ran into Chaz..."

Jude's breath caught in her throat. "But that was four months ag-"

"I know...I know it was four months ago...Back then I still didn't remember anything though...He said he didn't have your address anymore, so I did a little research on our pasts these last couple of months...And then last month..."

She looked at him intently, waiting for him to answer.

"I started having dreams about the past...Like your sixteenth birthday...And your eighteenth birthday...And the day you wrote If I should Stay..." Jude nodded. "I still didn't remember enough though...And since the name of G Major had already been changed, I couldn't find that...But about 3 weeks ago, everything came back...So I packed everything up, sold the house I'd been living with, and made flight reservation."

Jude nodded, and then opened her mouth to speak.

"But I went to the hospital...I stayed in New York for...months. And when I got there, they said that most of the victims had been cleared, died, or claimed by families."

Tommy's stomach turned. "What day were you there?"

Jude looked at him, unsure of what he was getting at. "April 3rd...Late afternoon."

Tommy sighed, looking down again. Several tears ran down his cheeks.

"I was discharged that morning..."

Jude looked at him and then jumped up. He kept his gaze on her. They stared into each others' eyes for a moment, before Jude let out a sob. Her shoulders wracked, and tears began to course down her cheeks. Tommy jumped up, wrapping his arms around her and rubbing her back soothingly. She clung to him like a scared kitten, never wanting to let him go. Her knees gave out from under her, and he picked her up, carrying her out of the room to the back porch.

He sat down on the porch swing, rocking her lightly back and forth. She sobbed into his chest, her breathing becoming erratic. He whispered sweet nothings in her ear in attempt to calm her, but she continued to sob. Tommy kissed the side of her head, continuing to rock her. Little by little, her crying began to cease, until it had minimized to small hiccups. Jude's grip on him loosened, and her breathing fell back into sync, though her nose was running faster than she could wipe it away. Tommy pushed her back a little after she had completely stopped crying and looked her in the eyes.

"You okay now?"

She nodded. "Now that you're here." She whispered, though her voice was raspy. He smiled and kissed her softly. She wrapped her arms around him. After a few minutes, he pushed her lightly back.

"How about we talk for a bit before we go any further."

Jude nodded and smiled, climbing out of his lap. Not saying another word, she took his hand and led him inside. He grabbed her bags for her, as he used to always do, and followed her up to her bedroom. She smiled as he entered the room behind her, and she closed the door. She looked around, seeing his clothes strewn about already.

"Sadie let me stay here last night...I was trying to find something to wear this morning..."

"Typical you...Messy bedroom, but perfect hair." She giggled softly, ruffling his hair. To her surprise, it quickly mussed out of place.

"Nope." He shook his head at her. She smiled, confused. "No hair gel...You learn to not be so attached to using it when you're without hair for 4 months..." He smiled and kissed her softly. She pulled back and walked over to her luggage. As if nothing had ever happened between them, she pulled out some clothes, and began to undress in front of him. He smiled, allowing her to as if he'd never disappeared.

"So...How was Montreal...How's Chaz?"

"Both are good." He smiled. However, his smile faded when he saw the top of a marking on her left hip.

"You got a tattoo?"

She couldn't help but smile as she completely removed her shirt.

"I've always had this tattoo, Quincy." She unzipped her jeans and slid them off her hips, revealing the whole tattoo to him. It was angel wings with Thomas and then Quincy under his first name in the middle of the wings. He smiled and pulled her to him. "On second thought...I love it."

She smiled. "You better. You would have had to see this every day of the rest of your life had you never got in that car accident..." She kissed him softly before turning around. She saw a clean pair of his boxers laying on the floor, which were black with yellow ducks (really femme, I know. lol). She looked at him questioningly. "Can I?"

"I've never stopped you before...and besides. You look cute in my clothes." He smiled and kissed her softly. She giggled and pulled the boxers on her, even though they were several sizes too big. She reached behind her back to remove her bra and then stopped, realizing what would probably happen once she did. Tommy looked at her quizzically. "What's wrong?"

"I need to tell you something." She sat down next to him. He smiled, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

"Okay. You know you can tell me anything..."

"For months...Sadie has been pestering me to date again...So I started to again...and I met someone..."

Tommy looked at her, slightly worried.

"We're not together, or anything...But I..." She paused, looking up at him. "I slept with him..."

Tommy's face remained blank, leaving Jude to wonder what he was thinking.

"Were you safe?"

"Of course..."

"Do you regret it?"

She looked down at the bed as tears filled her eyes.

"I do now...And I did after I slept with him..."

Tommy nodded and wiped her tears away.

"Don't be sorry to me...You thought I was dead...And I didn't do anything to get in contact with you these last 3 weeks...If I had, you never would have been with him... So let's just blame this incident on me..."

"He's coming here."

"What?" Tommy looked at her, confused again.

"I told him that I wanted to come home sooner, so he said he was coming to visit...He's someone I met on my first tour...We kept in touch up until we...you and I...got engaged...And then I stopped talking to him..."

Tommy nodded.

"Anything else?"

She looked up at him. Unlike his tone of voice, his facial expression was soft and calm. "Well, there's a guy named Tom...he's supposed to fly out also...But I don't plan on anything happening there..." Jude smiled.

"I would hope that you don't plan on anything happening in either relationship."

She smiled and kissed him.

"Trust me...The only guy I want right now, is you."

"Good..." He kissed her softly, laying her back against the bed. She ruffled his hair, running her fingers through it. He began trailing kisses down her jaw-line to her neck and then collarbone.

"God, Tom..." He pulled up and looked at her.

"What?"

"Nothing...I've just missed this...a lot..."

He smiled and placed a chaste peck on her lips. She smiled and pulled him back down her, reaching down to his jeans. Tommy pulled away again. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." She spoke honestly. She hadn't been sure with Tyler, but she was now. Because she was with Tommy. And nothing could make her feel better than the safety and warmth of Tommy's arms...


End file.
